open and broken
yeah ok boldness, so in the midst of all that has been going on in our lives and around us,there has been this place of fear and sadness and disappointment. i've been really brokenhearted. there is a heavieness that God brings me up for the air and life that i need to keep me going thinking that it is over and then i somehow have slipped back into it . i have for as long as i remember battled fear with people God has done miracles and made such improvement but its like an oceans tide ya know comes and goes with the turning but its always there always in sight and when i turn my back i still hear it . i hate to put such a negative on something so beautiful ... but thats what i have i feel drained life and weak in all aspects i feel like i need to be strong because its required of me i'm mom , wife, pastors wife, friend daughter, sister........
im struggling with the severity and the kindness of God being able to trust him in that, i go to read the word and my heart is filled with fear confusion,anxiety hurt things that never used to be there...
but yet as i write this a song is being played on the piano simple little sound like a jewelry box and something washed over my heart.
He did.
HE sweeeps me up into his arms embraces me secures me
i dont know what is gooing on with me. it's purpose it's source.it's duration. trust is the very thing i have to do even when i feel i cant . but yet i reach out to his outstretched hand.
yearning for its end awaiting eternitys escape sort've..............
posted by Fire-E-Cry-DanceingSpirit @ 6:01 PM
4 Comments:
At 7:42 AM,
Anonymous said…
Just keep pressing in Crissy, God won't let you fall. You have such a sweet spirit and a gentleness about you. God will use that. Be blessed.
At 4:14 PM,
Your humble servant said…
You're such a passionate person. I love to see God using passion for his glory as I see so often being used against him. What you are going through I call a trough. I don't know why God allows us to go through it as it doesn't seem to be triggered by anything or serve any real purpose except to remind us that we need him. I don't know. I went through one a few days ago. I really dislike them, but I'm learning not to hate them. Stay cool. The only solution I have besides bringing it to God is to lie down and listen, maybe sleep. I realize that we have responcibilities to consider that impare this solution, but it works on a mental level as well. Just strip your mental noise down to a minimum until you don't think or feel anything. From there, only God knows. I suppose it's a coping mechanism more than an actual solution. It's all I can think of until God reveals his thoughts on it to me.
In the mean time, I'd like to share something with you that might be an encouragement. I was thinking about you today and was thinking, "what exactly did she have? What was it that made Crissy so special? What did God use in her?" Well, besides being extremely passionate (often in regard to things that are worth being passionate about) but I already mentioned that. I boiled it down to wisdom. Simple wisdom. Then I proceeded to figure what exactly that means as there are a lot of things that for sure aren't wisdom. I never got much farther on that front. I just think you're a wise woman. I look forward to seeing your family grow and to see how God uses you and Adam to lead.
Much love.
At 10:56 AM,
Kristy said…
Yeah, I hear ya. Love you like crazy!
At 8:02 AM,
Jill said…
Crissy, hope you are doing well! I have been thinking about you lately and just wanted to say hello. I pray the best for you guys and i would like to email you too if you have a regular email address i can talk to you more if you want to share it with me :) God bless you girl!
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